Behind the shields that you build,
The nice tuxedo
Behind the frozened, superficial feelings
Your whole body is silently screaming:
Only if somebody would love me the way I am,
Only if somebody would love me
Love me!
Only if somebody
would never ever leave
No matter my faults
No matter my weakness.
And I see that you are angry because you are hurt
I see that you hurt because you have been hurt
Repeating the same patterns
Tired of being called stupid
Tired of being downgraded
of failing
Tired of being the failure
building the shield of carelessness.
And I wonder
Why I see the rain because it is not raining
My soul used to stay in the moment of rain
It was made of it
And the wind keeps on blowing
And I do like it
As it used to thunder when I was with you
I used to lay there
In your bed 3am
And it thundered
It thundered
The hell or heaven was on earth
And it was.
Both of them.
You said it was the perfect moment
That nothing could take it away from you.
Except for words.
You didn’t want me to say anything
You made me silent for not ruining the moment
As that is what words are made for.
But my darling,
There is no world without words
The is no perfect and you
Have stayed in the dream of silence
But it is not there anymore
It never was.
Seeking for something, repeating your faults.
But once
It thundered and we thundered together.
See why are you so afraid?
And why I see it
Because I am you
Oh believe me
I have thundered
Hundred times and more
It cannot break me down
As once broken pieces
cannot break down anymore
There is something
In me that cannot be broken
So there is no thunder for me
Only the vibrating memory in my soul
And my soul keeps on vibrating
And that is how I move towards the world
I cannot separate myself from it
As the vibrating is all there is
Even deeper
In the trail of despair
No love
No.
Just wondering.
And you know Why I see you?
Because I am you.
I see the The pure joy
You are trying to hide
When I hold your head
And the sick joy in me
For making you enjoy
And leaving you there
Leaving you there
In the moment of thunder.
That is where you keep on thundering
I am more alone than you will ever be
The meaning of the word
Has no soul for me
in my heart that was once made
in my heart that once was